I always write the posts from the father's vision, but today, for this one in particular, I am going to do it from the vision of health personnel who receive fathers and mothers and their children.
"Be good or you prick in the ass" It is a phrase that is said very often and that I receive every day with more surprise and indignation, so inadequate What is it.
A few days ago in the CAP (Primary Care Center) where I work a father repeated it to his 4-year-old son incessantly: “Be good or it will prick you in the ass, do we tell you to prick? or not? Better not, right? because you are behaving, right? ” and the boy had entered quietly, calmly and seemed to have no intention of doing anything but looking and waiting.
Today another father and another son in the same situation, only that this child did play more and again put me in the role of judge.
It has happened to me many times, even walking towards the consultation and going through the waiting room, which is where children get bored and therefore where they play the most.
I suppose that health personnel become the (only?) Resource for children to pay attention to fathers and mothers.
Analyzing the phrase and by using the simplest logic I arrive at the following:
“Be good or you will be pricked in the ass” is equivalent to “you get pricked when you misbehave” and “you are pricked when you misbehave” to “if they prick me it is because I have behaved badly.”
Therefore the possible consequences are:
- That the people in white coats are seen as ruthless and controlling, serious and authoritarian beings who always carry a syringe loaded with a needle prepared to stick it in the ass that they think you have misbehaved. That is, fear us. No wonder so many adults have needles panic.
- That the children understand that the punctures (read administration of medication and / or vaccines) are the consequence of having done some wrongdoing / having misbehaved.
- That the children understand that the misbehavior (this misbehavior would have to be nuanced. Running or shouting is not misbehaving, in the park it can be done and nothing happens, however in the doctor it can bother ...) it is not something they should correct because their parents think so, but because the healthcare staff thinks so.
- Let the children know that parents often lie. As much as he does, no one will prick him as a result, this affects the credibility of the father.
I think it is easier to tell the child:
“David, we are in a health center… This is a place where sick people come to heal and when you are sick you need some peace of mind. Dad and mom will be sitting here. If you want you can play or read a story but without making a lot of noise, that here the noise can disturb others ” or more summarized if the child is smaller: "David, I don't want you to run here, then you can run in the park if you want."
Or directly play with him something quiet, or bring food, or read a story, but above all avoid phrases of this kind, which are a lie and that makes you play an answer this: "I'm not going to prick anyone who doesn't need it."
