Surely you have lived in the first person or third person, when you find your partner in that state. It is the moment when you get home, where your family is, and you find the house made a mess, the children revolutionized and you start looking for the adult that should be with them and for them in every corner.
"Hello ?! Honey?", And after sweeping the floor, raffling objects, toys and children, you find him doing something he does not touch. It is not depleted (or depleted), it has some energy, but it is not destined for the expected. The same is making food, is on the computer quietly, or watching television. Then you ask "Have you seen the one that the children have?" And he answers: "I already passed".
Sometimes you don't even need to be left alone with the children. You can both be at home and the children bundling her the same, and be busy and ask her to do something so that everything does not end in chaos and give you the same answer: "Yo-Ya-Paso".
It's time exhaust valve
If you ask an education purist, a psychologist, a pedagogue (if you ask me about the theory), he will say that it is a great educational error, because the children receive a contradictory message: In some moments their parents explain what they can and cannot do and ensure that children do not lose respect for each other and respect the home, their toys, etc. and at other times they contradict themselves by not intervening when it would be necessary or when, in other circumstances, they do.
Well, okay, we all know the theory, I believe. But as we are not machines based on action-reaction, but people with our work, our responsibilities, our stress, our lack of sleep and our level of patience, which a few days is eternal and other days has reached the limit at the time if you woke up, we allowed ourselves to disconnect the brain and abstract a few moments, probably as exhaust valve.
Mom, a few minutes before leaving your children alone and saying "I already passed" That there are days when you think that the atmospheric pressure is very high, or that the stars have aligned so that your children only have bad ideas, and while one is doing something in one place, another starts something else in another, and while you act in a corner, something happens in the opposite ... and they fight, and you separate them, and you give them an alternative, and you explain to them to talk and do not stick, to find solutions, and find them, but you leave 30 seconds of your visual field and you hear screams again, and you come back, and you act again, and you stay with them for a while, and they calm down, and when you go out 30 seconds of your visual field you hear something that happens in another corner of the house and you approach and it is the little one who has decided that it is a good time to flood the sink, and when you have already scrubbed it and collected everything you return to where they are , who still has enough energy to discuss again or to decide that they are hungry, open the closet and start eating the first thing they catch, and they fight, because there is only one strawberry yogurt that has been in the fridge for weeks, already expired, and at that moment everyone wants it. And if you have a dog, don't wait to be notified. He will be with them, licking himself happily, as if celebrating his birthday by eating whatever they have left.
Or pass everything, or transform into Hulk
In Hulk, or in Hulka (yes, it exists). There are days that yes, that you turn green, you grow in size until you break a lamp with your head and stay in the dark after destroying your clothes and you start to behave in an inexplicable way. Screaming from a "stop!", To a "I can't do more!", Going through a "but what do you do!" or a "be still at once!" The heart accelerates, you begin to sit the children to have them controlled and to collect everything as a soul that leads to the devil with agility and astonishing effectiveness, until you have everything presentable and you look at them with eyes wide open and threatening tone to tell them "And now you start watching TV or playing something quiet, I have things to do".
But there are days that do not, that you no longer have energy for the transformation and the only thing that turns green is your brain. Green like a lettuce. Have you seen a leaf of lettuce communicate electrically with another leaf of lettuce? Do not? Well, the same thing happens in your head. Neurons stop transmitting, the brain enters "battery saving mode" like mobile or "safe mode" like the computer ... that way you can do the basics: move your eyes, babble, go piss without going outside of the toilet, walk a few steps or sit down and devote all the energy to a single task: watch TV or move the mouse.
Dad on Facebook after saying "I already passed" After disconnection, restart
That said, is a time when the brain is disconnected to prevent the explosion. You feel that, or you do it, or it will fry you, and between having a lettuce or starting to smoke through your ears for the first. You give yourself a few minutes, a few moments, a little while, a watching TV, a "let's see what is done on Facebook" or a "I'm going to watch the mail." Because you would go for a walk, but at that time the risk of ending up walking on the road between cars is too high, as high is the risk of leaving them alone: bad idea.
And so until suddenly the restart ends, you come back to yourself and get up. Hopefully the children have finished burning their last energy cartridges and are now calm. Without luck, they continue to hit you but you get a little renewed, able to put some order to that chaos.
Yes, that disappearing now is much worse, but it was that or die trying.
Do you give contradictory messages to children? Well of course, as contradictory they are by nature, that as soon as they are trying to hang their brother with their hands as they are playing any game together. How soon they are crying like laughing. How soon they are jumping on the couch as they are lying as if they had fallen from the floor above.
They are contradictory and we, the parents, too. And human, very human, and imperfect, and how to raise our children is not the only thing we do in life and they are not the only source of stress, we just need a solution not to end up jumping out the window. What is perhaps not the best? Surely not, but until we find another, something is something.
Perhaps, when we find the definitive solution they will have grown and will no longer behave like small whirlpools that destroy everything that gets in their way.
But is there really nothing else to do?
Yes, there are other solutions. You can be with them, for them, promote games together, look for physical activities where they burn energy, go down to the park, etc. All this helps to make them more relaxed at home. But still, those moments will come. All that will happen and you, for whatever reason, will lose patience. I don't say it's a solution, I am not recommending the "I already passed". I'm just telling you that, if you've ever reached that point, calm and quiet, you are not alone, many of us have arrived too.
Photos | iStock
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