One of the things that makes more illusion in life is when you enter to live in your new home with your partner and you are decorating it to your liking, putting the new furniture, everything in its place, and you are creating the dynamics to keep it relatively clean and collected. You are so happy and proud that when friends come you show them the floor and even explain why you put such a thing here, such furniture there, how practical this or that is and how beautiful you have it all.
So, until you have a baby, then maybe another, and then maybe another. Although in the end it does not matter if they are one to three, because one is enough to accomplish many of the things that we are going to explain today: the 12 things that are always disgusting at home because of the children.
Their bodies, their clothes, your clothes, the sheets ...
Okay, the clothes are not really something from home, but it is the beginning of a series of things that are going to be worse and worse with those that you are going to have to live with and that are going to get used to the relative dirt, to imperfection, to leave behind your dream of having your house clean and collected.
It all starts when you have the baby and begins to pour milk ... you stain your clothes, stain and leave your sheets, and those of your bed, full of milk. They wash, of course, everything is washed, but sometimes there is still a small stain that there was milk, like in the English area of the bodies when there is a poop leak. You rubbing there, give it to you, trying to remove that brown yellow that seems to never leave, and so you end up taking the child with clean bodies and pajamas dyed from a runaway poop He didn't want to stay in the diaper.
Toilet
This is when they have grown up, they already do their things in the toilet, and especially if they are children (and especially if, like me, you have three children). It is not 24 hours after the toilet is splashed with urine, deep down there are poop remains and you perceive a scent of public toilet quite suspicious.
Yes, when you clean you give it with bleach, but you can not let more than 48 hours pass without giving it because that ends up being disgusting ... and let's not say of those times that you go so quiet and when you arrive you find some wipe with poop in the floor, some brown residue on the lid ("please, let it be chocolate ...") or even the cairn in there Because they haven't pulled the chain.
Furniture
You are right. The furniture, your beloved furniture, which ends up being chopped because it strikes them against things, painted because they must seem bland, grated because it is great to play with the metal cars there, with the doors off the hook because they play to open, close and hang, discolored of an area because one day they dropped you do not know what liquid, because as much as you ask them they do not know how to tell you, but you are sure that it can not be anything other than some kind of acid or alien blood.
The walls
For the same reason, that they must seem bland, one of the biggest hobbies of children is to paint the walls. Yes, I know that the theory says that children begin to express themselves by drawing with the width of the whole arm, moving the shoulder, and consequently looking for large surfaces, but firewood, which you put on large papers and it doesn't matter, they still paint it . And when they don't do it anymore, you find hands, fingerprints, shoes, car bumps, scooters, flying toys and inexplicable spots. Yesterday I was looking at a red stain on the kitchen ceiling and I didn't know what it was. Maybe ketchup, but is that on the roof?
The inside of the drawers
What is a way of saying, too, what to see where is this and where is that. Because they open your drawers, they take things out, they put them back in, they take things that they liked and take them to another planet (see if not, where they are, because not at home), and although when You have a little time to devote order, in a short time everything is the same, or worse.
They even do it with their drawers and closets, which you put on well-folded pajamas, neat underwear and when two days have passed there is only one ball of clothes in there because they are looking for the favorite pajamas or socks I don't know what and to get to They have to mobilize the rest. And then they think twice and say that pajamas better not, and then they take another one and the first they put it as is, "take it inside".
The couch
Or maybe I should say the sofas, because in my house we go for the third one in 11 years. The first endured like a jabato (it also cost more than none because we were not yet parents), but they put cane to stop a train. Jumps, somersaults, super hero fights, sit where you don't touch, walk on the back, take the water, wet it all. Take food, drop them. Take milk, stain everything. And as much as you tell them not to take food to the sofa, there they appear with whatever they are eating.
I've even seen them paint with markers as if it were a table. Yes, that there is a paper, but the marker is pierced, or they leave painting! Once the little one was left open and the sofa did not think of anything other than absorbing the ink of the marker. He left it dry and the stain was championship.
So she draws, she washes, shells again ... she pulls out again that I don't know what they have thrown in and is disgusted, she comes out again that she is bad and she has vomited on the couch. And so the fatal covers and the sofa end in an indescribable way.
Soil
It is solved by scrubbing, yes, but it is that you can find everything. Remains of food, drink, dry modeling clay, marker pen, ... and you are stepping on and sticking, and scrubbing because as you leave it longer you do not know if it will become part of the soil. And while you decided to scrub or not, they were all very still, but it is to take the mop and activate the need to pee, poop, eat, take a toy that they have not touched for days, go see their brother in the room next door ...
That "do not happen that I am scrubbing", that "you can fall", that "you are going to stain everything again" and hey, no damn case. They wait a moment and then, when you get confused they pass by a side, glued to the wall, little by little, as if that area of the floor was dry or never scrubbed.
Your mobile screen
Or from the tablet, or from that smart device that you leave when you're about to jump out the window. Then it gives you even to check his hands, his clothes, his nose or his mouth, because it seems impossible that the screen is so dirty if your child does not seem fresh from a landfill. "What the hell have you done to make the screen look like this? Ah, what have you eaten? I don't know what and you've spotted it ...", "Ah, you've sneezed on it and cleaned it with your sleeve, which now that I see has snot dry all day "," ah, you don't know how to explain it ". So yes, sometimes you find your cell phone all covered with substances that you don't know what they are and sometimes it's worth not knowing.
The TV
It will be because we leave them the mobile or the tablet, that they end up thinking that all the screens are tactile. So they stand on TV and start playing to see if something happens, or because they are small and want to play their favorite characters. Or maybe they are pointing at something on the screen to show it to you and they have to touch it for you to see (if they don't touch it they should think that you won't know what they are pointing at).
The washbasin mirror
But how the hell do you brush your teeth? Do you rub out? Do you spit directly into the mirror? Because whenever I go I find the mirror full of pasta and saliva in a pile of scattered droplets ...
The little brother
Because as he is the little one you are already worried a little less so that he gets dirty, because since you already have more than one you do not have time to have everything in order, including child, and because the elder, or the elders, have the hobby of test their experiments with the little one before themselves.
The room where the toys are
Where are the toys, forget about getting a minimum order. Or don't forget, in case you get it. But they play, pick up and when you have everything right you have to move to another area of the house where they have been to pick up what they have left. And when you finish there you go back to the toy room, where everything returns to the ground, and so in an involuntary game in which you are chasing them to eliminate the traces of their presence, or at least try.
What if, of course they learn to pick up over time, but until they internalize it, some time may pass, and you want it not, it is more time that everything is disgusting than time that is well.
Photos | iStock
In Babies and more | Ten tips to survive after returning home with the baby, Make the whole house your play space, The things we said we would never do when we had children
