There are many mothers (and many fathers) who at some point say that they can't anymore, that they are exhausted, that all day they are collecting, cleaning and continuously behind their children to ensure that everything is in its place and minimally presentable.
Well, they are not alone ... we are all the same. However, much of the "work" of the parents would be assumed by the children if they were given the opportunity to do so. It is a matter of give them autonomy, to make it easy for them to collaborate and make them share in their "destruction" and "disorders".
That is why today we tell you this: "Let them be autonomous, so that they grow." And to know when they are trained we leave you with a board inspired by Montessori to know what tasks they can do at each age.
Let it grow
You may not believe it (or maybe you do), but there are many parents to whom in the consultation I have to say this: "let it grow," or "help it grow." Because they are four or five years old and do not know how to dress almost alone, they do not drink water more than when they ask for it, many are still bathed and almost, almost, fed.
What do I mean? Well, they tell me things like "is that he is very attached to me", "is that he sleeps alone, but he comes to my bed every night", "is that I see him very baby", "is that I think I will have problems with the diaper "," is that he barely plays with other children ", etc., and I tell them not to get overwhelmed, that nothing happens because the child does all that, but that there are many children who still anchored in the baby stage, and they have to be able to turn the page.
But in order to turn the page and that parents do not end up becoming their stewards we have to promote their autonomy, to do things themselves. It makes no sense that on weekends, for example, we dress them. Let them do it. You can leave her clothes at her height and have them put her on… to get to her clothes. And if you prefer to give him what you want him to wear, give it to him, but don't dress it, let him try it.
It makes no sense that the child is thirsty and has to come and say he wants water. Leave the plastic cups in a drawer that you can open, or outside, at a height according to your height. And if you want, even a small bottle with water for him to serve himself.
And so with everything. Let him see that he can do it. I tried. Let him do it. Let it begin to take care of your life, who has age and ability to start doing it.
Do not force, but allow to grow
Do not force or force the child to do things. It makes no sense that we do all the parents and suddenly force him to do so. He has to get out of it, to want to do it, to want to collaborate, to want to be one more, like you, a participant in his image, the order of the house, cleaning, hygiene ...
So suggest, invite to do, or directly make it fun (if possible): sing, laugh, make him laugh while you do it, tell him stories ... so it can even be fun for you, although it takes a little longer.
The Montessori-inspired board to find out what tasks they can do at each age
But… how am I going to make my son, who has hardly done anything, now start doing what he puts in his age? Tranquility. If you have a 9-year-old son, for example, and you just realized that he hardly does any of that, and you don't see him capable, it will be because hasn't done much of the above yet.
The table is progressive and orientative. A 9-year-old child can do what the table says if in the previous ages, more or less, he had the responsibilities for which he was prepared. So if you are looking at it and think that you would like your son to do more things, and you also think that he will make them motivated and involved, because you still have to start with things of lower ages, to finally reach his age.
Similarly, a child can do the things that appear in the table for older children. It all depends on your motivation, your desire and your ability. In the end, the key is to respect their learning rhythms.
In any case they are still ideas, an open the eyes of parents who think that their children are always small to do some things, which can help all family members: if mom and dad do not have to do everything, If children also collaborate in household chores, you can stay more free time to spend all together. And this sure that the children also value it.
