THE INVISIBLE WORK OF MOTHERS: THIS IS HOW THE MENTAL LOAD INFLUENCES OUR EMOTIONAL HEALTH

Nowadays the raising of children is very different from that of previous generations, in which the custom or tradition dictated that it was solely the responsibility of the mothers. Now, caring for children is shared and we can see how responsibilities are shared between father and mother.

But despite the fact that more and more parents are involved in raising children, the mental burden continues to fall on the mothers. A study analyzes how it affects the invisible work of mothers and the mental burden on emotional health.

The study

Published in the magazine Sex Roles, the study entitled "Invisible Household Labor and Ramifications for Adjustment: Mothers as Captains of Households"(" Invisible work at home and ramifications for adjustment: mothers as captains of households ") analyzes and illustrates how negatively affects women's invisible work in their emotional and psychological health.

In it, researchers address the issue of this invisible work inside the house, examining how the distribution between the couple of mental and emotional work inherent in home management may be related to the well-being of women, including your satisfaction with your life, with your partner, feelings of emptiness and experiencing an overload for your role.

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Surveys were conducted on women who were married or in a relationship and 90% of the participants responded that they had full responsibility for organizing their family's schedules. 70% of them are considered "the captain" of the ship, when completing and assigning household chores, including the famous endless list of earrings that we have shared on other occasions.

According to the results, two thirds of the mothers surveyed explain that they are responsible for keeping up with their children's emotions, and 78% of them said that within the couple, they were the ones who knew and had contact with teachers and school staff.

The study found that when these kinds of situations occur and mothers say they are the only ones in charge of the welfare of their children, including being attentive to their emotions and relationships with other people, they feel less satisfied with their partner and with life in general, as well as experiencing a feeling of emptiness.

The mental burden: the invisible work of women

On many occasions I have taken advantage of this space in Babies and more to talk about the mental and emotional health of mothers. They are no expert, I am just a mother like everyone else, but I have come to feel the pressure and stress that can sometimes cause us that long list of responsibilities and maternal activities.

For some time it has begun to speak more frequently about the mental burden that mothers carry, the one that despite the fact that the physical responsibilities of parenting and the home are now shared as a couple, continues to fall on us.

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I mean that invisible work of the mothers, the one that is not seen, but that is hanging around in our head all day: the earrings of the house that we are recording when we walk through their rooms, the medical appointments that we must do, the work to be completed, the payments to be made when we take a look at the calendar, the mental list of the super when we notice that something is ending at home, route planning and schedules for children's extracurricular activities, and the list could go on infinitely.

Although it may not seem like much to the naked eye, that our brain is full day to not forget each of these things leaves us drained of energy and undermines our emotional health. Organizing and planning is a full-time job that requires our full attention, but being mothers becomes one of the things to do.

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That is the invisible work, that which is permanent and that even when we are resting while we watch a movie (if we have time) or when we are about to fall asleep, it is still active.

The problem mainly lies in that custom that some time ago we saw so clearly embodied in a comic that went viral, entitled "You could have asked me", and that speaks precisely of the mental burden that falls on women: our partner always waits for us to ask for things, instead of taking the initiative, think for themselves and do them.

And this is where we get to the point of one of the consequences that the study has found when investigating how the mental load influenced: the resentment that is created towards the couple and that feeling of dissatisfaction and emptiness Millions of women live around the world.

What can we do about it?

I could continue talking and delving into this topic for hours, because besides being very interesting, I think it is extremely important to continue raising awareness about the importance of mental and emotional health of mothers.

This It is not a complaint about how mothers do or are responsible for everything, but to try to explain how that mental load is something real and can affect us in a greater way than we imagine.

What do we need to change this? Maybe we organize better inside the house, talk to our partner, family or children and delegate tasks and responsibilities completely, that is, not only that they wait for our indication to know what to do, but that they are in charge of that task or responsibility from beginning to end, from its planning to its execution.

The most important thing to highlight and do in this situation is share planning and organization in an equitable manner, so that the mental burden is lighter and does not fall on a single person.

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Similarly, although I know and I am aware that it is something that can be very complicated, we must find time for ourselves alone, and also do specific activities that help us release stress, relax and improve our physical, mental and spiritual well-being.

Mental and emotional health is not something that we should take lightly, because in addition to affecting us personally, it greatly influences the people around us, and in the case of who we are mothers, who can also be affected by it are our children.

Photos | iStock
Via | Mashable