When a woman becomes pregnant her life changes completely for 9 months, and completely from the day of delivery. When a woman becomes pregnant, the man's life begins to change too, because hers changes, and because he will be a father.
But not everyone seems to be prepared for those changes, or they are not trained to understand what happens to a woman when she becomes pregnant. And the worst is not only that, but many talk about more, demonstrating that not only do they not understand it, but it seems that they do not bother too much to understand it. Here I leave you with the 12 things you shouldn't say to your pregnant woman.
Before entering the mess, say that you cannot generalize. Many men, I hope the majority, are very cautious and would not say these things to their partners. Others, perhaps not because of being more or less prudent, but because of their sense of humor, they can make comments like this ... it all depends, of course, on the relationship you have with your partner, because there are women who don't take heart comments from their partners and laugh with them (I say, it depends on each relationship).
And then there are those who say it without thinking if they can do more or less harm and without appearing to be learning about history very well ... come on, there are brutes, very brutes, it seems that in the field of emotions they are quite lost. In case you are one of these, or if you are one of the others and think about saying something but you are not sure that it can bother you, there are the phrases you should avoid:
1. "This and no more"
As if you were not able to withstand your woman's mood swings, or her complaints, or her physical changes, or withstand the pressure of going to a hospital and live and live a delivery ... maybe because you don't feel that the thing Go with you and like it more when everything is as usual. How was anyone going to say something like that? Well, that's the idea, don't say it, because it's her who goes through everything and the last thing you want to hear is that it has bothered you throughout your pregnancy. She doesn't really want to have any more babies, but I don't think the reasons are linked to what a pregnancy or birth is like (and in any case, I don't think the best time to tell her that you don't want one more is during pregnancy of the first).
2. "Another visit with the doctor? In prehistory there were no doctors or anything"
No, there were not, but if there had been certain that the pregnant women would have gone to see them to know that everything was going well. Is it too tired to go to the doctor to see that your child is growing well? Go man get involved a little, you're going to be a father. You are going to be a father! And that consists of more than just waiting for you to put the child in your arms. If you have to go to the doctor and he wants you to go with him (which on the other hand is the most logical thing), then you go with him. Maybe that's how you understand a little more why she is the way she feels and feels the way she feels. You can even ask some questions if you have questions.
3. "Uff, how cold I have, how tired I am ... today I will not do anything"
We all know how bad sick we are. A disaster, come on, we have four boogers and we ask for the disabled card for the car and to be admitted to the hospital, in bed, with serum and oxygen mask in plan "I don't know if I will get out of this one". Under the same conditions, they do the usual, the everyday ... their routines hardly change.
It is not very fair to say something like that, unless we want to receive a: "Hello? Excuse me? Have you noticed that I have a belly that weighs several kilos and that I have been telling you for days how tired I am without you paying attention to me ? "
4. "Hey, but do you really have to keep it up, as if you were bipolar?"
They are called hormonal changes. Hormonal changes that cause humor changes. And so they are ... they can be happy and happy with things that at another time did not cause them so much happiness and start crying for petty things. And argue with you like never before! If you were pregnant the same thing would happen to you and of course, then everyone would have to understand you (if you were pregnant, would you take him the same as her, or worse?), But since you are not you, then you do not understand her and on top of that you say she cannot continue So. A council: do not say anything. Hold the shower and enjoy the moment when you will be very happy again.
5. "There will be those who like them, but pregnant women have nothing sexy"
Wow, one of those personal opinions that should remain personal, and not transferable. If you think about it, if you don't think it's sexy, perfect, but I don't think your wife likes to be told, as I don't think you like her to tell you what your flaws are ... basically because if she is with you and loves you, it is because she accepts them, as you should accept her, always.
And besides, that she is pregnant! His body is changing and he knows it, and you know it, and the last thing he has to hear is his partner indirectly telling him that "I don't like you that way".
6. "And after delivery, how long does it take to lose the excess weight?"
Emm, more of the same. It takes what it takes. After pregnancy the main thing is not the weight that has been gained, but your baby. It should be for her and it should be for you. Y continue loving you be as you are, because you will become a family and because life leaves its mark on everyone. In them, and in you. I don't think it seemed right to you to say: "And after 40, how long will it take to have the body you had when you were younger?"
7. "Why do you clean the kitchen so much? If the baby is not going to eat our own"
And why do you make me paint the room, if the baby doesn't care about the color? And why clean the cabinets thoroughly, if you are not going to sleep inside?
Well, because it comes from within, the so-called nest syndrome is born, the need to have everything ready for when the baby arrives, all clean, all collected, for when you become one more. To avoid having to get home with him and realize that there are many things to do.
The same would be good if instead you said "we do it together", or (already to curl the curl): "I already do it".
8. "Pregnant women there have been a lifetime ... is it really for so much?"
Throughout history, billions of women have been pregnant and have given birth to their children, and in the future, billions of women will become pregnant and will give birth to their children. But in this case, the number of people who live it or have lived it it is not a mitigating how bad it can happen.
Millions of people have also broken a bone throughout their lives, and millions have had a nephritic colic, and I do not wish either of them either (especially the latter).
9. "Hey, the fact that you are pregnant is also hard for me"
Oh yes, poor thing! That now the housework is no longer shared between the two, but you have to do more because she is tired, or because she is dizzy, or because she is vomiting. Don't you think that in your situation you would already be asking for a priest? Goes, put yourself in your place a little, man. What you are living has no point of comparison with what she lives. And if it seems hard to you, be prepared, because when the baby arrives you will prefer to return to the present (or the past).
10. "No wonder you're tired, if you don't move"
They are very lucky. In addition to a couple they have a personal trainer which tells them that if they are tired, what they need is to move more, do some exercise, that the body is becoming lazy to do nothing. I wouldn't want to be one of them, because I imagine her glare After hearing those words and only with that I tremble.
11. "Are you already in labor? But it's twelve o'clock at night"
And with the dream that I have, honey ... can't you wait for tomorrow? Is that if I know I took a nap today, or I go to bed a little earlier, look, watching TV I was late. And this how many hours are they? Because I dined little ... if that, I will eat something now. Or if, then, on the way, we stop at a gas station and buy something.
If that we have no waste... there are more patiently than Holy Job.
12. "Jo, well, you have a bad caesarean section scar"
Go honey, thank you very much. My idea was to give birth through the vagina, but look, it couldn't be, unfortunately. I've been thinking about the topic for weeks and trying not to feel failed because of it, for not having been able to give birth as I wanted to, and although I have tried to explain it, you don't seem to listen to me because you always cut me off with an "already, honey, but the important thing is that the baby is fine. " Yes, of course that is the important thing, that's why he was born that way, but a part of me has a wound that I'm trying to heal, and it is not exactly what you see, which apparently is what matters most to you. Did it look bad? What a pity, right? Go ... now you go and give me a foot massage, if you don't want to sleep on the couch tonight. And since you put on, leave the phone and listen to me, to see if you can understand me at once, not even a little.
Are there really men who say things like that?
You are right. I have already said that sometimes they say themselves in an atmosphere of humor and confidence, and that not all women receive the message in the same way (I clarify it because many, jokingly, have been able to say things like that, knowing that we are not going to harm). But there are those who mean it, and there are those who, rightly, take it badly.
So before speaking try put on your skinAsk him how he is, how he feels, and if it seems weird, search the internet. A "pregnant cleaning", "pregnant mood swings", "pregnant woman's weight", "the amazing world of pregnant women: discover how they are", can save you many vain words, many arguments and talking when you should have been silent .
Photos | iStock
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