Have we arrived yet? And now? And now? I want to arrive now! Surely we all hear these words, right? The patience It is part of children's learning and emotional management, and it is necessary not to face the frustration (now and in the future). How can we help them in this learning?
The little kids they don't understand the concept of timeThey can't know if 5 minutes is a lot or a little, they can't get to the idea of whether they are going to have to wait a little while or an eternity. Children live in the here and now and gradually they have capabilities that allow them to project more in the medium-long term.
So to start, considering this, the first thing is Adjust our expectations. To pretend that they are quiet, that they do not ask, that they do not get bored or that they do not bind it on certain occasions is much pretend. Calm.
In spite of this, it is true that we can do some things to learn how to limit time and develop your patience.
How to help my child learn to be patient?
Lead by example
As we know, children learn, among other things, from what they see we do, we are their model, so if we want our child to be patient, what we cannot do is lose our papers in a traffic jam or scream in a queue because it does not advance ... It is obvious, right?
Do not ask for things "for now"
In the line of the previous point, when addressing them we will try not to “hurry them all the time”. Yes, sometimes they entertain themselves watching the shrews and we are in a hurry because we are late for school, but there are ways and ways to let them know.
If we say sharply that they have to do something “to the one already” we are transmitting the message that it is lawful to require another human being to do something “already”. Try to make him see the need not to entertain himself, but do not ask him for things "already" or they will ask you in the same terms to you.
If you are having a tantrum because you want something “already” and what we do is shout at you, we are not helping you understand that it is from the calm that things are requested (and expected). We are the adults and we know, because we know it, that they are entertained, so that instead of demanding and getting nervous maybe what we can do is lift them 5 minutes before to have more time, for example.
Strengthen patience ... and explain
“Great, honey, how good you have waited for Daddy to finish taking out the dishwasher dishes to give you your cup”. But in addition to reinforcing, we are interested in explaining why we are doing it, so that they can understand the situation and establish a cause and effect relationship that helps them to generate patterns.
Do not reinforce impatience
And on the opposite pole, do not reinforce impatience. How? Well, not giving him what he “demands” if he doesn't ask for it properly, for example, or that he has access to things when he can, without anyone having to go out of his way because he has “here and now”.
With "having things as soon as I ask for them" we only encourage him not to learn to wait and that precisely that waiting, which is something that he will find in life, leads him to a tremendous frustration. It is not about annoying the poor child or denying him what he asks for by system, but about making him understand that the system does not work with the formula "I ask-I have."
Games and activities that encourage patience
Group board games, those in which you have to wait your turn, for example, are great to cultivate patience, and they are also fun! In the market there is a huge offer, even for the little ones. Also they puzzles or cook (which requires waiting for something to warm up, or to finish the oven) are great activities to work these things.
Be consistent and keep promises
Precisely to help them establish temporal concepts and cause-effect relationships It is important that we deliver what we promise. If we have told you that after lunch we will go to the park ... then you have to go to the park, or if not the next time we tell you, it will not calm you, on the contrary, and you will feel the same or more frustrated and that will result in that Ask for things over and over again.
Mark very short and concrete time limits
Since they do not have the capacity to know how many are 5 minutes instead we set the time limits with specific actions and events: "We will go to the grandparents' house after having picked up Dad from work".
In the face of events that will take place within days or weeks, to prevent the poor from walking all those days saying (thinking and feeling) Is today? One thing that works quite well is to make a calendar that they themselves cross out. In this visual way, we help them establish "times."
Patience is something that is taught, that is learned, that develops and that comes to us (and suits us) all, children and adults, but ... but we cannot lose sight of a key idea that pointed out at the beginning: Children are children, and we cannot ask them to be more patient even than ourselves. Because ... that raise your hand who manages to be patient on all occasions. Well, that.
So as children they are there will be times when they get bored and when they lose patience, and it will be normal. That's what daddies and toys are for, the talk ... to make them wait less tedious, right?
Photos: Pixabay.com
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