Nowadays, from 9 or 10 years old, many children have a mobile phone and when they reach 12 years old, with the transition to secondary school, three out of four children use their mobile phone to communicate on a daily basis. Unlike how we did, our children communicate through applications chats like Facebook Messenger, direct messages on Instagram, and above all, WhattsApp.
These are conversations that are recorded (another substantial difference with the personal conversations of our childhood) and parents are concerned to know who they talk to, what they talk about, but do we have the right to know the content of our children's communications? Should we be able to read our children's mobile messages? In which cases yes and in which not?
We violate your right to privacy
The law is very clear about it. By reading your private messages we are violating your right to privacy contained in article 18 of the Constitution, in relation to the rights of persons, including minors:
"The right to honor, personal and family privacy and the image itself is guaranteed."
"It guarantees the secrecy of communications and, especially, of postal, telegraphic and telephone, except judicial resolution."
That is, unless expressly allowed by a court order, we cannot violate your right to privacy.
For its part, the Organic Law on the Legal Protection of Minors of January 1996 states the following in its article 4 on the right to honor, privacy and the image itself:
"Children have the right to honor, personal and family privacy and their own image. This right also includes the inviolability of family residence and correspondence, as well as the secrecy of communications. "
And he adds in a last section:
"Parents or guardians and public authorities will respect these rights and protect them against possible third party attacks. "
According to article 197 of the criminal code on "The discovery and disclosure of secrets", breaching the right to privacy is a crime that has as a penalty of one to four years in prison.
And its protection? Where is the limit?
As a general rule and according to the law, we cannot violate the secret of communications of anyone, even if it is a minor. But what happens when that child is our son and we have a responsibility to protect and educate him?
The right to privacy is something inviolable and we should be able to trust our children, without the need for a law to authorize parents to check the mobile phone of our children, although we also have the obligation to take care of them and protect them.
It all depends on the situation in which our son is and the reason that leads us to check his mobile. If we suspect that it could being harassed, extorted or receiving abuse of some kind, the child's interest would be above and as parents, we must take action on the matter. Let's not forget that mobile is a very powerful tool for cyberbullying or grooming.
And of course, another thing is to systematically spy, without them knowing it and another very different to read the messages with their consent. As it is very different to read a letter in secret or that the person who has received it gives you permission to do so.
If we return to the laws, article 154 of the Civil Code states that parents must watch over their children and exercise parental rights for their benefit, and not checking the phone in case of suspecting that something bad could be happening to them, would be irresponsible. In those cases, as an exception, it would be justified.
Preventing and educating is the key
It would be desirable not to have to "spy" on our children's messages, for the same reason that we would not do so with our partner's messages: because we trust them.
Of course there must be a trust relationship that we have been feeding since they are small that allows them to ask us for help if they have any problems, as well as a solid self-confidence that allows them to manage their relationships in a positive way.
It is also important to assess the maturity of the child when putting a mobile phone in their hands (maturity is not the same as a child of nine than that of a 17-year-old teenager), and of course, educate them about a responsible use of social networks to avoid unpleasant situations.
