My three and a half year old girl is in full stage of night fears. When a child suffers, he suddenly wakes up at night crying because he had a nightmare.
Unlike the night terrors in which the child does not wake up completely, in the nightmares the child wakes up scared and remembers that he has had a bad dream.
These episodes are very common in children, in fact feeling fear is not bad, since it is also part of the learning that helps them evolve and cope better with situations tomorrow.
Through dreams, we channel everyday experiences and the emotions that they produce. In the children in full stage in which the monsters and the terrifying characters occupy a lot of time of their thoughts, it is normal that they revive them in their dreams. On some occasions, fears are motivated by situations that distress them such as moving, separation from parents, changing schools, etc.
What can parents do to help them overcome those fears? It is clear that we cannot control their dreams, so it is inevitable that they suffer. But we can take into account certain routines to try to make the child have as pleasant a dream as possible.
We can, for example:
● Designate a protective teddy to take care of it at night.
● Create some invented character like a good fairy who comes at night and takes the monsters.
● Do not scare them with the man in the bag, or the black hand, or the bad witch, or such stupidities. Help him differentiate fiction from reality.
● Demystify how terrifying monsters can be, telling them stories about good monsters or, for example, through movies like Monster's, which I think is right to address the issue of fears in children.
● The bedtime routine also influences: it creates a relaxing and cozy atmosphere with music and dim light.
● You can leave some light on if the child wakes up at night.
● Prevents watching movies with violent scenes before bedtime. Instead, read him a beautiful story.
● Talk about the bad dream the next morning and explain that there is no reason to fear, that monsters do not exist and that mom and dad are there to take care of him.
Despite all precautions, one night the child will wake up in fear. Do not minimize your feeling by saying things like "not true" or "do not be silly", for them feeling fear is important and they need parents to be there to take care of them and reassure them.
They don't get braver by not comforting them. Nor do I talk about overprotecting them because the bad things in life will always be there, although we would not be able to prevent our children from suffering. But the important thing is to show them that we are there to accompany them until they pass.
