Let someone who has not sat with their children raise their hands more than once to help them do their homework. I at least confess myself guilty.
Yesterday I still "argued" with my son (we had mixed opinions) because he wanted me to help him make a poetry (or rather to do it) since he defended that no one had taught him to write poems. I handed him a book by Gloria Fuertes, I asked him to read it and then write his poetry.
I have to admit that the result was not very inspiring but I refuse to do my homework for him. I have made a mistake? Óscar González, Primary school teacher, educational advisor and founder of the Educational Alliance and the School of Parents with Talent, says no, because “you have to help children with their homework, but with nuances”.
Homework in class
The first thing we should clarify, says Oscar Gonzalez, is what should be the duties:
Only if they do not have time, they can complete the exercises at home, but the task is very limited, so as not to overload them."I like my students to start homework in class and even finish them. That way I can help them if they have any questions and check how they solve the questions and I know if they have understood the explanations or not."
Although he doesn't want to get into the discussion of 'homework yes or no', contemplate the need for a balance between study and leisure hours, so as not to saturate the children and that they end up abhorring learning.
In Babies and more "Children can conquer mountains with the right stimuli," a teacher's reflection against traditional dutiesI bet you Do not send homework before 5th grade. From the third cycle onwards, as an advance of what they will find in the ESO, but in a moderate way:
At home they should not study more than 30 minutes“In fifth and sixth teachers should coordinate to not put all homework on the same day. It is not good to leave class at five in the afternoon and then spend hours doing homework. ”
They should not be a burden to parents
The founder of the Educational Alliance states that teachers must adapt to the different speeds of the child:
“Some finish an exercise in two minutes while others need more time. You can find solutions in class so that they do not fall behind and do not have to take homework: that they can write in the book, that they do not copy the statements ... "
And the same goes for homework: Some children do need a specific parent reinforcement, explains this Primary teacher, but "Your role should not be to sit with them, but to give them autonomy to do them alone."
In Babies and more # Stopdeberes, the campaign that seeks a Holy Week free of homeworkThat does not mean that we ignore their day to day school, says the education expert: we can monitor their agendas to verify that they copy the exercises they have to do, but not sit down with them to do them.
“I often hear parents commenting in the park: 'we are going home that we have to do our homework'. And that phrase would squeak me. The one who has homework or exam is the child. It is your responsibility and yet you know how to transfer it to your parents. ”
We all know of cases in which parents do their children's homework. And, in this sense, the director of Educational Alliance warns that we should not do it: "Too much overprotection is not good."
He also explains that in the tutorials parents tell him worried: "I can't with him. I explain how to do the exercise and he tells me that they haven't taught him that way in school." And precisely it is better that their doubts are resolved with the teacher because "by wanting to help them we can confuse them more and go against the educational system of the center."
When to help them?
If you do not understand something, of course we can explain it to you, but always in a timely manner. Because if they do not understand anything, says the professor, it is that something fails and they look for a shortcut:
“It is not the same to help, to give a clue, than to solve it. Do not do their homework because then they learn nothing. It is better that they do it badly and they are mistaken than correcting it so that they take it well to school ”.
Óscar González explains that if children always take the perfect exercises to class, it is difficult to detect when they do not know how to do something and need teachers to explain it again. It is preferable to detect faults to reinforce them.
"But if I don't help you, suspend"
It is true that there are children who need us to spend more time with studies, "But I have doubts in affirming that if adults are not over, they will not approve".
This is perceived by the education advisor who points out that what they need is to acquire a study habit that is only achieved over time:
"If we start supporting them because they are small, there will come a time when if we don't sit with them to do their homework or study, they won't."
And he continues explaining that the parents cannot make the mistake of not allowing the child to do what he is prepared for, giving him autonomy to take responsibility for his things:
"It must be our son who studies, memorizes, although we can ask him the lesson to give him security (only if he asks us to), but not study with him."
And he adds that we should not pull the WhatsApp group to ask for homework "because they don't remember". Your obligation is to write them on your notebook or agenda. We can do it one day as an exception, but we are not his memory.
If we do not start in primary school to hold them accountable, in sixth it will be very difficult for me to study alone. Óscar Gonzalez explains:
"You demand him and he collapses, because he thinks he cannot alone, that he does not know, because at home we have always given him to understand that he needed help."
Reconciliation issues
On weekdays, during the course, sometimes I have the feeling that the only relationship I have with my children is to remind them of the tasks they have to do and ride a taxi driver from one extracurricular to another.
And according to our education expert, I am not the only mother who feels that way. Ensures that the problem of our educational system is not only in children having many or few duties, but in conciliation:
"We need more time with them, because the little we have we must invest in forcing them to do their homework, study and we get angry with them and they always see us in a bad mood because we are tired."
He adds that there are many parents who cannot even go to the tutoring because at work they are not allowed to attend, although they can go to the doctor:
"The education of our children seems to be not considered important and we must change our attitude."
It also ensures that schools allow little parental involvement, so they end up demotivating:
"The Educational Community is a team and we must work together, because doing it differently is detrimental to our children."With this conclusion I stay because for me education is essential for our children and not only learn in school, but also from us, from the people around them. That is why we must dedicate to teaching them 'other subjects' as responsibility. Or that is my modest opinion of mother.
So if you are mine and one of your children asks for your constant help to do their homework, think about it. I will at least do it.
Photos | iStock
