Javier Urra, a psychologist who held the position of Ombudsman for Children in the Community of Madrid, has published a book with the title "What do our children hide?"
It is presented as the report that tells us the secrets of teenagers and what their parents keep quiet. Despite not being dedicated to children of the ages that we mainly attend in Bebesymás, I have found it very interesting to present it. Well the mutual trust It is based on what we do now, when they are small.
The work analyzes 5,000 responses obtained from a survey prepared by him, of children and parents from different regions of Spain, both from private, public, and institute schools, and from both the urban and rural world. Analyzing these data, the author discovers the secrets kept by teenagers, lies and taboo topics in families, which also silence their parents.
Its objective is to help to become aware that communication between parents and children, in trust and respect, It's fundamental. There will be issues that are very difficult for boys to tell their parents, especially questions about sex or drugs, since a climate of trust and open dialogue in them may never be created.
I have read the first pages of the book, and its position, although sometimes I have disagreed with Javier Urra's statements on some issues, it seems to me of essential consideration. Talking with children, from small, trusting them and also telling them our mistakes and frustrations, the experiences of our childhood and adolescence, will cement that they can come to us when they need it.
And the interview with the pediatrician has come to mind Carlos Gonzalez which ended up saying, when asked about the "Estivill method": "Estivil, the author, advocates letting the child cry one day one minute, then three, five ... Yes, the system works. After a few days he does not wake up at midnight or bother to make noise because he knows that his parents are not coming. But, after a few years, how do these parents pretend that their son confesses that he is drugged if they have taught him since two years that they will not listen to him? "
We cannot be perfect parents nor can we prevent teenagers from hiding things from us, because that is also part of their growth and intimacy, but all we can do is build your trust In us. If our children, as babies, know that whenever they need us we will go without judging or mastering them, possibly one day, when they are 15 and have a problem, do not be afraid to go to their parents to tell them.
