For several entries we have been defining what a baby is in high demand, talking about some of their behaviors and the characteristics they usually have.
Today I want to talk about what does having a high demand baby mean and what is the reason for "diagnosing" a baby as in high demand, in order to understand these children a little more and, above all, their parents.
What does it mean to have a high demand baby
The first thing to be clear about is that high demand babies are normal. They are babies who, for whatever reason, have a character and a way of acting something different from what society is usually accustomed to and, above all, what society tends to consider as natural or normal behavior of a baby.
By this I mean that everyone can understand that a baby cries for a little while, but nevertheless does not understand that he can cry for a long time. Everyone understands that a baby may want to be in the arms of his mother while breastfeeding or playing, but does not understand that the mother has to be all day with the baby in her arms and everyone understands that a baby may want to breastfeed every two to three hours, but not that you may need your chest very often.
This makes parents with babies who need a lot of contact and who complain a lot when they don't get what they need feel that their babies are "weirdoes" that are being raised just the opposite way as they expected and, worst of all, that They are to blame for such behaviors.
Nowadays there are few parents who are really aware of what it means to have a baby and it is usual to see faces of tiredness, overflow and "I did not know that babies were like this" when it has been just two weeks since birth. If you add to this that there are babies who cry more than others, who suck more than others and who need continuous contact, unlike others, the feeling of having done something wrong, along with the hundreds of opinions of the environment confirming that the baby does things that should not be spoiled or becoming spoiled, parents end up having a real problem (a "non-normal" baby) and urgently ask for a solution.
Why a high demand baby is "diagnosed"
To say that a baby is in high demand is useless if we think of the child. "High demand" is not a medical diagnosis, or a disease, or a symptom, or anything that can be written in a history. It is not even a feature that has to last a long time, since a baby can be in high demand and gradually become a child as demanding as any other.
The only reason a father and mother can be told that their baby is in high demand is because they believe they have a problem or are doing something wrong, when it is not (well, maybe they are doing something bad, everything must be valued, but this is ruled out, you have to think about the child).
Telling a couple that their child is probably a high-demand baby is equivalent to saying "there are children who need more contact than another, just as there are children who need more food than others. The baby who wants to eat more must be given more food, who wants more contact, you have to give more contact. "
That is to say, the "diagnosis" (between quotation marks, because, as I say, being in high demand is not a diagnosis) of high demand It is useful to show parents that the baby that everyone considers spoiled or spoiled is normal and to make them feel that the parents' way of raising, so criticized for offering many arms, breastfeeding or sleeping with the baby (Well, if this is not done, the baby cries even more), It is really what a baby of this type needs, demands and should receive.
"I think I have a high demand baby, but nobody has told me such a thing"
The concept of high demand baby is little known and for this reason it is most likely that, before a high demand baby, no one tells that mother: "Calm down, you have a high demand baby."
The truth is that this might seem worrisome but it really isn't. It is not necessary to say the words "high demand" to say that a baby is normal. Just by having a pediatrician or nurse say "there are babies who need more than others", "your baby's behavior is normal", "give him as many arms as he wants and heed his demands" and "don't pay much attention to what they say others, because only you know how to raise your child, which is unique, "is enough.
"My friend says she has a high demand baby, but I think it's normal."
And it sure is, because as I say, high demand babies are normal babies. A mother may consider that her son demands a lot because she expects babies to only sleep and eat, being a baby with usual requirements and another mother with a baby that could be considered high demand may not see any behavior in her baby that differentiate from other babies.
This means that there are mothers who say they have a baby in high demand, when they are not, and mothers who do not say so, when they are.
The bottom line is that it doesn't matter, because "diagnosis" is a tool for parents and not for children. As I said, nobody is going to medicate the baby, nor is he going to refer him to a psychologist for being considered in high demand, but if the mother makes him feel better with his parenting style, there is no problem in thinking about it. .
Photos | Flickr - jessicafm, sawamur, Nezemnaya In Babies and more | High demand babies: characteristics (I), (II) and (III), High demand babies: how the term was born, High demand babies: when traveling in the car is an impossible mission.
