Three days ago Lola told us about the cesarean scar and the types of sutures used. This reminded me of what happened more than four years ago when my first child was born. After having a caesarean section they told him: “Quiet, the scar has been very good for you”.
As you can see, the issue is not related to sutures, but to the caesarean scar and especially with the type of support received when a woman gives birth through a caesarean section, when her intention or her expectations were different.
It all started at dawn when the first contractions arrived. After going to the hospital in the morning, we soon returned home to continue waiting until again, in the afternoon, we returned to the hospital. The dilation was not too fast, so, around eight in the afternoon, they decided to "help" a little with synthetic oxytocin. Minutes later, as happens several times because of this oxytocin, Jon, the baby, began to suffer, to show that he did not tolerate such strong and continuous contractions and the monitor began to whistle.
They decided then that it was best to do a cesarean and they came to explain that there would probably be a return of cord that would be causing the loss of fetal well-being. All this happened while I was gone, since they didn't let me be while they put on the epidural anesthesia and the alarms on the monitor appeared as soon as they put the oxytocin (minutes after the anesthesia).
That is to say, my wife came in alone to have her epidural and when she was alone she was told that they suspected that there was a cord twist and that they were going to have a C-section. "I started shaking with fear," Miriam told me later. She felt lonely, scared and, despite asking how everything was going, how the baby was and what was happening, she only received a “calm down, lie down, don't move”.
He had a caesarean section, taught the baby a moment and took it to assess it, measure it, weigh it, clean it, etc. To another room. Meanwhile they began to suture the wound of Miriam's caesarean section and, at the precise moment I needed a helping hand, a "how do you find yourself", a "what can I do for you", a shoulder in which to cry or, simply , a silent presence that showed willingness to listen, someone said: "Quiet, the scar has been very good for you."
The phrase has no bad intention, of course. It is not hurtful or disrespectful, it is simply inadequate. After practicing a caesarean section for a single woman, who has barely been given information and scared, surely the last thing she cares about in the world is how well she will be left, aesthetically speaking, the wound scar that It has just been practiced.
The nurses, midwives, gynecologists and all the people who live in a birth with the mother (there are also students sometimes, if the mother allows it) are there to help in the delivery if something does not go well. The protagonists of the moment are she and her baby and they need quick, agile and wise hands if the moment requires it, or patient hands if everything goes well.
In addition to all this, which is presupposed, it is necessary that the treatment be of trust, respect, close and warm, because the woman has to trust the professionals and because the professionals can help the mother feel better or at least Make you feel informed and participant. In many centers this is so, but in many others it is not. Hopefully, little by little, births will be more humanized and women will have the power they should never have lost. Maybe they don't have to settle for mood phrases about how good the scar has been.
