Before being a mother, I knew absolutely nothing about motherhood. Even now with my four-year-old daughter, I still consider myself an inexperienced rookie on most parenting issues and all that this entails. But there is one thing I do know: being a mother is easier if you have a tribe, and besides, I think it brings many benefits.
But if you don't believe me, let science explain it to you: a new study found that Having friends when you are a mother helps improve your children's cognitive development. We share you why.
Why it is important to have friends when you are a mom
Before sharing the study and its results, I would like to explain a little why I consider it very important for mothers to have close friends. I know that motherhood tests many things, and one of them is the friendship we have with some people.
It is not uncommon that when we become a mother we lose some friends, because our pace of life changes and sometimes a change like this causes us to distance ourselves from people. But that does not mean that we are alone or that we cannot make new friends.
In fact, I believe that motherhood is a perfect opportunity to try to meet new people, who may be able to understand our new rhythm of life a little more. I clarify that this does not mean that if we have friends without children we do not continue to maintain friendship (in fact it has many benefits to have them!), but when we have friends who are also mothers, there are many positive things for us.
In Babies and more Why is it easier to be a mom if you have a tribeOn the one hand, we have with whom to share all the adventures and misadventures of this fantastic experience called maternity, from our doubts and fears, to those moments of uncertainty, such as when we feel that we lose a little of our identity by becoming mothers.
But besides being a great emotional support, Having friends when you're a mom helps you feel a little less weird, crazy or alone. To them, for example, it will not seem strange to tell them about those rare things that only mothers happen to us and that people without children do not understand, nor will they feel disgust when you talk about the poop, slime or vomit of your children.
In general, having friends when you are a mother makes everything easier, that the emotional burden is lighter when you feel understood and that you have someone to unload a little of that stress that only among moms understand. But with this new study, we realize that The benefits of having friends are not only for us, but also for our children.
The study
Published in the JAMA magazine, the study analyzed the information of more than 1,000 families, examining the social circle of each of them. According to the study, each mother has an average of 3.5 "social supports".
It was found that the greater the number of friends or "social supports", their children obtained better results in tests of early cognitive development, while in the case of those who had fewer friends or had none, their children obtained a lower score.
In an interview for Reuters, study researcher and co-author Kaja LeWinn explains why this happens:
"Outside the family context, mothers with broader social networks have the possibility of having at their disposal some resources that help them minimize some of the burdens associated with parenting"he says.
She comments, for example, that this not only refers to physical support with certain activities or tasks, such as caring for children when they are sick or helping to take them from one place to another in their car, but also, to emotional and mental support, something that mothers need a lot.
And having someone to talk to, let off steam and even receive a hug, is something that can make a big difference in mothers. By having emotional support It reduces stress and improves the mental health of mothers, which is positively associated with children's cognitive development.
My experience
On some occasion I shared my experience being the only one of my group of friends who is already a mother, in which I talked about the advantages and disadvantages that this situation had for me. On the one hand, it is nice to be the first to have children because everything is new and surprising to everyone, but on the other, sometimes it costs a little to talk about certain issues because they have not lived them.
In Babies and more How to find other moms when you are the only one in your group of friends with childrenAnd although perhaps my friends who are physically close are not moms, I do have very good friends with children in other cities and with whom I have connected thanks to my blog and social networks. I have already had the good fortune to meet them in person and strengthen our friendship by devirtualizing it, and I must say, that Even being away, your company and support transcend distance.
So, with or without children, having friends is something that makes me very happy, because I know that I have people close to me, who care about my well-being, and that help me to have moments of stress and distraction, in which I forget the routine for a few minutes and enjoy the moment. And good, if seeing and talking with my friends also helps my daughter's development, well, what a wonder, right?
Photos | iStock
Via | Scary Mommy
