Of course, we can all improve as parents. And a very important aspect, perhaps the basis of the whole relationship with our children, is to learn to be affectionate. Of course there are people who say they can't be more affectionate with their children.
There are parents who, having grown up in a little affectionate environment, then they have difficulties to express their love and, instead, they do it with criticism or pressure, when children first of all need to feel the love we have for them and that makes their self-esteem reinforce.
That "whoever loves you well will make you cry" is an excuse to hide in her who does not know how to handle her negative emotions and cannot educate without physical or emotional violence. And the deprivation of expressions of affection is a subtle form of violence, and, although it is, it is possible to overcome it.
I encourage you to overcome the emotional lacks of your childhood, accept them and now change so that your children feel more loved than you felt. It can.
He that your parents were not affectionate you don't have to become unloving parents to you. We are the link that unites our parents with our children, and we can be a link that improves the model.
The children who have unloving parents they may understand, when they grow up, that their parents loved and cared for them, went out of their way for them and did their best, that they worked as mules to give them the best they could achieve and that, if they failed, they didn't want to do it.
Yes, they will understand. But they will have missed something very important in childhood: feeling loved. Then they wish they could hug their parents, but something prevents it; they are amazed to see that as grandparents their parents express a love that they lacked, and it hurts. The truth is that it is possible not to repeat the same model and not be as your parents if they were not very affectionate.
And they will understand them, they will know that they loved them, but if during their childhood they did not feel that love and that attachment So big, wouldn't it be better if their parents are able to change now and they don't want to shield themselves in excuses that they raised them coldly?
The solution is to learn to improve, overcome yourself. And it's possible. We can all be loving parents, better parents than we are, every day I try and learn. And if I can, you can.
