Since the pregnancy test is positive and confirms that according to many of you, you already knew days ago, that it is nothing other than being officially pregnant, a whole new world opens up before you, full of "ysis?" What if it doesn't work out? What if I'm not worthy to be a mother? And if it's a boy? What if it's a girl? And if it's two? What if it comes out with your father's nose? There is no, please, that nose again no.
But what almost nobody notices is the world of deprivation that is rising like a Berlin wall between you and all your favorite dishes. Welcome to the world of deprivation.
The beginnings
We could call this phase, The brief period of happiness. It only lasts between a few hours and a couple of days at most. What is the time it takes for your gynecologist to notify you of a "brief" list of things that you will no longer be able to do, at least in the next nine months.
They say it's for your sake and your baby's, but three out of five gynecologists confess privately that Enjoy it.
The first is that you won't be able to eat anything raw that is of animal origin, much less if we talk about that pinkish animal that makes oink, oink and whose hind legs cured and rolled in a bed of tomato bathed in liquid gold, on a beautiful slice of previously baked and roasted cereal dough that constitutes one of the quintessential quintessential households in this country.
And if you do not mind, then yours is the oriental-fusion cuisine and you prepare some impressive makis that have nothing to envy to the oriental restaurant, which until two months ago was known for "the Chinese", which you have in the corner. Well, I'm sorry to keep giving bad news, but we are going to leave the raw fish for the cat, because what concerns you from today will be between fact and very past.
Germs, viruses, bacteria and other environmental bugs. Nobody likes to fall ill, but it is that getting sick when you are pregnant does not want even your worst enemy. And because? Because the weapons with which a pregnant woman has to fight the diseases are liters of chamomile, paracetamol (and without abuse), ibuprofen and a 10% discount in Scottex for buying kleenex at wholesale.
And it is that between what you can not take because there are studies that have shown that it is not good for the baby and what you can not take either because there are no studies and you know if it will be good or bad so it is better not to take risks, the more 5,000 years of medicine that humanity carries in tow will be reduced to a list of remedies that fit in a post-it and in print.
The alcohol The alcohol is going to have to be in cotton (and hopefully not even that way) and 86 degrees.
TobaccoIf it was bad in itself without you being pregnant, we are not going to tell you how the baby will sit a cigarette before breakfast. And this extends to every living being that is close to you and gives it to vice in your presence, A perfect excuse to send your in-laws to smoke in the park.
Exciting drinks, from this moment, teas and coffees are considered luxury items and distributed through ration cards. This is not all bad, because you will see that in a couple of months, that coffee that you now drink in multiples of a liter to take effect, will be reduced to half a cup to achieve the same. Anyway, the famous "continued sleepiness"In which you will soon be plunged, it is completely immune to any type of caffeine and derivatives.
The drugs, Do not put that face on me, which is one of the questions that the midwife and the mother of some will ask you when they find out that their daughter has become pregnant with that unpresentable. If you take them leave them because now you are playing in another league and the price to pay can be very expensive.
Fatten
The weight, the last of the seven horsemen of the apocalypse of every pregnant woman and one of the few that can end up accompanying you once you have given birth.
The medical legend tells that The average weight gain in a pregnancy is one kilo per month, to finish between 9 and 12 kilos (at the threshold of measurement in a pregnancy you will also get used to it).
I guess you have also heard the other legend that says that you can eat for two and of course everyone stays there, in the "two" and thinks that it refers to two adults. Are you going to eat that croissant? Bring that I have to eat for two. The downside is that you weigh 60 kilos and your baby six grams and a good day you will reach one of the many reviews that you will go through and you will have taken the corresponding kilo, plus those of the next four months. So, croissant to croissant without us noticing. So as a reward, they will put us on a diet for the next six months.
Did I leave any of the most common prohibitions? Surely yes.
