A study carried out by IPSOS and commissioned by InterContinental Hotels Group reveals that young people from four European countries (Italy, France, Turkey and Portugal) and one from Asia (Israel), state (in 70%) to have had a positive or very positive relationship with his grandparents but upon reaching adulthood, there has been a departure, which many would like to avoid.
The report is part of an intergenerational vacation program that the hotel chain wants to promote, therefore I will focus only on details such as the reasons that cause distancing, and the means used to maintain contact with grandparents. It is well known that contact with grandparents is an invaluable source of positive experiences for children, which also it gives them a different view of life than their parents. In many cases, however, communication becomes difficult with distance, and it is something that seems to be accentuated when children are no longer.
We usually visit them every month and a half or two (we live far away), and we all try to make the most of the meetings; I also involve my children in the weekly phone call, so even if they get busy (the children) they end up picking up the phone to hold conversations that I imagine as brief as intense.
In our case, maternal and paternal grandparents hardly use the new technologies, so we just call, send photos by regular mail, and hope that one Sunday one of the uncles will facilitate the videoconference for them to see their grandchildren.
But let's continue with the issue at hand: the cooling of relationships that occurs when children become adults is caused by reasons such as 'have less free time', 'create your own family', 'studies', or 'the use of technology and new media', which bring us closer to those who are now young or people of our generation or close. The motives do not seem very solid in isolation, although perhaps if they are combined, the relationship with their grandparents is really complicated.
Consider, for example, the use of the new means of communication to which we are accustomed: it is fine, for example, that children know and learn to use them, but I do not consider at all that calls to landlines or mobiles should be excluded (even in the case of the elderly who do not have a computer with an Internet connection, they usually have a cell phone); and of course personal visits.
The most “technological” grandparents, surprisingly, seem to be the Turks, who use both smartphone applications and social networks in about 25% of cases every day; the latter are also used daily by 10% of Italian grandparents and 11% of French grandparents
On the other hand, words such as food, going to shows, trips and shared games are usually associated with grandparents. Isn't it a shame to miss this when childhood is left behind? There are always times to look for contact, and the excuse for lack of time is not true. As a friend of mine said when I missed the expression 'before people had more time': "we have the same time to do things, 24 hours a day", another thing is how we distribute it, and how we lose it . What are our priorities?
I think It is the parents' task to foster as close contact as possible, and insist on the advantages of relationships with the extended family, so that the older children positively value maintaining contact.. We have established 'the lack of time' as a standard bearer, but taking care of family relationships requires a minimum effort that accompanies great satisfaction; We are the adults of today who must show how much we care about our children's grandparents and uncles, and cultivate these relationships, in order to set an example.
