One of the fundamental changes that occur with the arrival of children is the change in the relationship with our partner. Maybe you were passionate about Valentine's Day and you turned this date into an opportunity to precisely unleash the passion. But what happens with the arrival of the children? How is that first Valentine's day as a family?
The time has come to "change the chip". We are no longer two, but the family has grown. We could imagine that nothing has changed, but they would only be that, imaginations. It is best to adapt to the new situation and set aside (at least for a season) the romantic dinners from before.
Just as we need some time to adapt to the baby, the couple also needs some adaptation time. There will be for those who do not pose any problem the arrival of the baby, but do you know any cases? Another issue is when the next children arrive, but with the first one ... it is a revolution.
Probably our expectations of what it means to have a baby make us feel confused and fears always appear. The emotional state of the mother after childbirth can be volatile, although hopefully it is a matter of time feeling better with ourselves and with the baby. Also with our partner.
The father does not get rid of this state of confusion, has lost his "position" in the family, needs time to meet the baby and often the woman relegates his attention to him, going to focus exclusively (or almost) on the baby.
If Valentine catches you during the puerperium period, you may not feel like too much "jogging." The woman is recovering physically and most likely both dad and mom simply want rest.
And what sex?
It may take time for sex to arrive after the baby is born, but it is absolutely normal. Just as we need time to adapt to the new situation, we probably need time to recover sexual desire, both women and men.
In the puerperium, relationships are not recommended, since the woman is not physically recovered (and more if she has suffered an episiotomy or caesarean section ...). The man can be affected by fatigue, new responsibilities and even the physical change of his wife. But everything remits over time.
Gradually, sexual desire resurfaces, and we must remember that there are many sexual games other than penetration that can be practiced to feel closer to each other. Anyway, nobody said that to spend a full Valentine's day you have to make love ... this can be demonstrated in many ways.
From couple to family
Soon we return to the routine, we adapt to the baby, to the new schedules, we understand our partner better and better and we have it more located in your new role as a father or mother. Sexual relations normalize. And most importantly, we love each other. So we should not neglect our role as a couple, as partners, as friends, as lovers.
Spend a little time alone (with the help of the family) and especially celebrate a Valentine's day with the children, it is possible and keep alive the "flame" or illusion if you want. There are many ways to make this date special if we want to include children, also when they grow up.
Something new and rewarding has begun, not without difficulties in the day to day and with some probable ups and downs in the relationship. Therefore, from time to time, it is good to look for some romanticism. It is advisable not to get carried away by the topics or false expectations and establish a fluid communication with the couple. Talk about our fears, our love, what we want for a special date ...
Making plans together often activates the relationship, something special is sought that breaks the routine, including the son in those plans, as it will be from now on and for many years. The child grows up seeing a solid relationship that gives him confidence and establishes the basis of his future relationships. We are your example.
I hope that the first family valentine Do not disappoint, as a special date for so many couples. And although we are not too fond of this celebration, we surely find reasons to show that we love our partner and our children any day.
Photos | jonathan.youngblood and ardenswayoflife on Flickr-CC In Babies and more | Love is in the air: ideas of Valentine's Day to do with children, in love and with children, is it possible ?, Postpartum sexuality
