That being a father for the first time is something that changes your life, we are clear. That you change the chip and become an instant boost, is what we have our doubts.
In them it seems that the instinct wakes up a long time before giving birth, they will be mothers, they are clear and know what they should do (or at least they know the theory). They've been sucking him all his life, "is in their genes" What some say. Thus, when the time comes to receive your son, she, like you, is scared, but she knows that the time has come to become a mother, to cross the door and turn the page, it is only necessary to wait for the arrival of that being who He has been loving since long before his birth. And you, are you ready to be a father? Do we change the chip as quickly as they do?
You are not of stone and in those last moments before the birth you are, like her, an accumulation of feelings that fight to leave, you are afraid, doubts, hopes and a terrible desire that everything ends and goes well. But unlike her who is primarily concerned with the baby, you fear for your partner, for her pain. She is everything, your partner and with whom you have decided to be. It is who you can see, touch and feel. It is who you see suffering without being able to do anything to avoid it. No, our main concern at the moment is not the baby, it is his mother.
And finally the time comes and you can see it, it's not as you expected, it never is. One cannot imagine that moment, that first look. He is your son, in flesh and blood, he is here in your arms and the adventure begins. And then it is when all the accumulated tension explodes, the words are forgotten, the mouth dries out and one begins to see dust motes in the eyes and without knowing exactly why, you feel the happiest man in the world.
You know that everything will change, that today is the first day of the rest of your life, it is what they have told you and in the end you are sure of it, but you still resist the change and try that everything that until now there was been your life, your life, don't disappear.
And you see her, how she is with the child, how she talks to him, how she treats him and you know that although you love her and you would do anything for that little being, you don't feel what you see in her or maybe you don't know how express it And you think that maybe the kisses, the caresses, the lullabies, all that, is a thing of them, you have not been taught to be so sweet? That I am very gross, if I cry what do I do?
And one day you take it, how light it is! And how it smells. You look at those eyes, nose, hands, mouth. That nose, have I seen it somewhere? Today was a step, tomorrow will be another. And little by little we are falling in love with them, we are making them part of our being, of our life.
What you have imagined does not match reality
When you imagine being a father, your imaginary son is usually a few years old, in my case he was never less than five or six years old. Can you imagine talking about the human and the divine with him, or practicing a sport, doing some experiment (how much damage the cinema has done). But you can't imagine changing a diaper, taking him to the pediatrician or rocking him to calm down. Can you imagine taking him to the burguer, but not giving him a porridge in the park. That is the chip we have to change. All that we have dreamed will come sooner or later, but now there is much to enjoy.
You can imagine comforting your child when he falls or is sick, but not the feeling of helplessness that invades you when they can't get up, when the fever turns them off. You know that life is not fair, but you are not prepared for that anger that fills you when you are paid with your child.
All that is what makes us more parents and above all, it will make us create ourselves and get more and more involved. Sooner or later all, or at least most, we change the chip, we all accept that new facet of being parents.
Maybe we are going with a slower march than they do, maybe the pregnancy serves to awaken their maternal instincts, I don't know. What is clear is that as far as I and my environment are concerned, that feeling came to us later than them. Maybe it's because of our education, or maybe it just depends on how we are when it comes to expressing our feelings. It may just be an ancestral survival mechanism that allowed us to detach ourselves from our offspring to procure their livelihood and that now only brings us discussions with our partner. But what is clear, crystalline, is that we adore our children, in our own way, but we adore them.
Well, eating and sleeping is clearly controlled. But when will he get up to play Play?
