In his book "Man in search of meaning" Viktor Frankl tells us that in a situation that produces pain or suffering, even when it seems that there is no possible way out, we are always free to choose how to deal with that moment.
Life is very hard, the human being, in my view, increasingly individualistic, interested and cruel, and in this world in which we live and have created for our children, they must find their way and choose how to live.
A large part of their decisions will be given by their desire to move forward, their goals, their illusions, their dreams, their achievements and how much we support them in all of this. Therefore, we must not let a single day go by without telling them how much we love them.
The importance of the communication
For that and why it is true. That is why and because when people are able to speak the road becomes flat. I want you to understand me. Talk we all know, communicate, say what we think and what we feel, no. Many of us are not able to say what happens to us because we do not want to bother others. Many of us don't open ourselves to our children, to our partners, to our surroundings, because we don't know how to express it either. Many parents do not talk with their children about feelings and, consequently, many children do not talk about it with their parents.
However, explaining things is an exercise in bravery and honesty that parents should carry out with our children: "I like it when you do this, but I don't like you doing this other." And in the same way, we can tell them about us, when we were little, being frank: "if I understand you, if I also did it, but I realized that ...", "I didn't like it either ...", "I too I made many mistakes, and I still make them. "
They are just examples of some sentences, but they serve to get off the pedestal where our children have us, to show them that We are human, we are also wrong, and that we understand that they can also be wrong. The important thing is to be able to admit mistakes and assume the consequences of our actions, and repair them if possible. This is called having integrity.
Let's start for love
They say that a very healthy exercise is, every morning, getting up saying thanks. Not anyone in particular, if you don't want to, but thanks for all the things we consider everyday, but that help us to have the life we have. Every morning the sun rises that illuminates our lives, every morning we have at our side a couple who loves us and out there, disheveled, uncovered and in an inexplicable position to our children, sleeping soundly feeling safe and confident in our presence.
They know we are there, they know we protect them, they know that they are in no danger with us and they know we love them. If they know, do you need to tell them? Well yes, the elders also know that others love us, but well that we like to be told.
Well with our children the same. Every day, without fail, we should be able to have a moment with them to tell them that we love them, that they are important to us, that they are in our thoughts, that we like to share space and time with them, and show it, of course. It is not necessary to force it, it is simply to make visible a feeling that already exists.
There are those who deny kisses and hugs, the "I love you" and those cloying signs of affection for children, because they say we make them spoiled children. Let's not confuse. Love is not discussed. I love them and will always love them, but that doesn't mean I have to tell them what they do wrong (and what they do well), or that I get mad at them if they do something I don't like. In the same way, I understand when those days that I am less receptive or with less patience get angry with me (men have our particular brain menses, I believe), and that is why I don't think they have stopped loving me.
Love is unconditional, it must be so and they must know it. And loving them a lot will not make them less autonomous (which seems to be the meaning of pampered). They will simply know that we are here, in the hard and in the mature, because life is going to put many, many tests. Harder and harder.
In general, I am not a person who has much hope in the future of our society. I see her sick, more and more, languishing as she ends up infecting a world, a nature, increasingly weak. However, one good day, I decided to smile at life. I can't change the world, but yes I can change, and yes I can spread it to those around me, or at least try. So in that we are, in trying to be positive, honest, complete, communicative and in telling them, every day, how much I love them.
