This is a topic that has often come up in conversations with coworkers, friends, acquaintances, etc.
I have also lived it in my flesh as a son and I will probably live it as a father.
Because of the exploratory nature of children, because of the capacities of invention, because of the illusion of learning and starting new projects, there are times when you see, as a parent, that your children go straight to failure.
"It's going to crash fixed" you think and meanwhile remember the day you wanted to do the same and that you also crashed or the day you were determined to try and they said "I said no, we do it for your good, one day you will understand ”feeling totally frustrated and angry.
And here is the crux of the matter. Intervene or not? Do youLet them try or deny them that possibility knowing that it will go wrong?
The last time we had this debate, without making statistics, there was more or less a triple tie between “I would let him try”, “I would prevent him from trying” and “he doesn't know / don't answer”.
Well, I know that it is a difficult decision and I know that above all the character and personality of the child in question must be seen, but I am able (brave that I am) to make a generalization or as much to say what I think of the subject.
"Who does not risk does not win" or "To those who fear death, honey tastes like gall" They are two proverbs that summarize my opinion about it.
I know who I am (or so I think) and I know where I can take risks and where not, I know where I feel fear and where I feel safe and I know how far I want to go and where I prefer to stop, but I am not my son, I do not know until Where do you want to go, or where is your level of security or how far you dare when undertaking new projects or adventures.
By this I mean that I could live a bad experience with something that I wanted to try and did not get, and that my son might get it.
I mean it may be the same bump that I took with me, and maybe he has the ability to get back up and try again where I threw in the towel.
Perhaps I had a bad experience that I would never want to repeat and in the same way, my son is able to draw different conclusions or transform a bad experience into positive learning.
Children, as people they are, have a life to live and decisions to make. If we take them for them, they will never be autonomous, they will never have learned to choose.
I do not mean by this that children have to do whatever they want in any circumstance. In every house there are established rules and values that must be respected, but parents can have a little wide sleeve in terms of life choices because in this way they will grow from the responsibility for their actions and not from of the limitations we impose on them.
In other words, I think it is better that they go one step ahead if they have decided so that they err and learn from their mistakes that they do not walk one step behind us and it is we who mark their destiny.
