Nine things that I would do differently in my postpartum, if I could go back in time

Probably most of us would like to get well prepared for the adventure of raising children, but the truth is that nobody is born knowing how to be a father or mother. I like to say that motherhood is a series of successes and mistakes that we make as we go along that path, which undoubtedly leaves us with great lessons.

But nevertheless, sometimes I can't help thinking about how different everything would have been if things were different and I would have researched more, or would have approached more experienced moms, to give me one of those tips that don't come in books or magazines.

Although I do not regret how I have lived my motherhood, thinking a little in retrospect and reflecting on everything I have learned in these almost five years, I think maybe I could have made better decisions. Therefore, and with the aim of helping a recent mother or whose baby is yet to be born, today I share nine things that I would do differently in my postpartum, if I could go back in time.

I would not give the news immediately

The birth of a baby, be it birth or caesarean section, It is one of the strongest and most emotional moments of motherhood. It is the day when you stop being just the woman, to really become a mother, after going through a complete transformation of body and mind.

After delivery we are in our most vulnerable state, where we need to have space and peace to recover, without receiving visitors and focusing on being with our baby. So if I could go back in time, this would undoubtedly be one of the things I would do differently in my postpartum: wait a few days or even up to a week to give the news that my baby was already born, and thus enjoy alone and rest.

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I would worry less

They say that when a mother is born, guilt is born. But to that I would add that the immense and permanent concern that will accompany us for the rest of our life is also born. However, in my postpartum I worried too much about everything that "could" happen and was getting ahead of me, instead of enjoying the present moment.

I would rest more

This is really what I would definitely change about my postpartum. I don't know if it's just mothers thing, but it seems that we like to play todographs tirelessly from day one. That's right, the mental burden of mothers practically starts from the first hours with our baby, and it shouldn't be that way.

We must understand that postpartum is a necessary time for our recovery and adaptation, that the house and everything else will remain there, and that nothing will happen if we allow ourselves to rest and we carry things in a more relaxed way.

Would trust me more

From my experience, and the one shared by other mothers, postpartum is one of the most difficult and dark stages of motherhood. Not only because we face a completely new world, but because we just went through a total transformation that has left us sensitive and vulnerable.

But all this is normal. No one has a baby and immediately becomes an expert mom (and never will, because motherhood is a series of challenges and continuous learning). If I could go back in time, I would not doubt my postpartum skills so much, and I would trust myself more and that everything would work out well.

I wouldn't have the doubt

One of the mistakes I made during my postpartum was to keep all those doubts and fears I had. I felt it was ridiculous that I couldn't do things right, that I was failing because everyone had made it seem so easy. "You stick your baby to the tit and you're done". "Take it in your arms and it will calm down"It's not true, it's not always like that.

But I didn't dare to ask how I could solve these kinds of situations, because everything is supposed to happen by itself and naturally once my baby was born. It is not easy, it is not simple. So undoubtedly, I would ask all the questions that went through my mind, however simple or obvious they may seem.

I would have professional support

Motherhood is better accompanied, and if in addition to your family support network, you have professionals who can advise and accompany you, the experience should be even better. Seeking and having the support of a doula, a midwife or a lactation consultant can make the big difference between a postpartum full of doubts and one full of learning.

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I would ask for help without fear

Why is it so difficult for us to ask for postpartum help? I don't know if this is a biological, cultural or social issue, but I have found that asking most mothers for help is something that costs us a lot of effort and courage. Perhaps we feel that it is to admit that we cannot do it all alone, although the reality is that: a single mother cannot with everything.

But we must do it, especially in the moments where we need it most, such as postpartum. Let's ask for help to learn to do things, to be able to rest better, to be able to recover quietly, without feeling that we have a million things to do.

I would look for time for myself

Although fortunately I did not suffer from postpartum depression, the truth is that after my daughter was born I completely forgot about myself and all the attention turned to her, becoming the priority at home, at a stage in which I also needed support and attention . Fortunately, motherhood is not like postpartum and eventually things took a more balanced pace.

However, we must remember that mom also matters, mom is also a priority. And although it is important to be with our baby and care for him, we must also take care of ourselves and look for moments of disconnection and rest to feel better.

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I would be more gentle with myself

And finally, if I could go back in time and change some of my postpartum (and my motherhood in general), I would definitely be more gentle with myself. He would not require me so much and instead of judging me for not being able to do things well, I would understand that I am learning, and that despite all the fears and doubts, I am doing well.

Photos | Unsplash

Video: 1ST BABY vs. 2ND BABY: 20 Things I Did Differently (March 2024).